Pre-Dawn, Mid-Feeding Contemplations

1) Posh Spice looks great for having had three kids...

2) "Great" = ((@PRIOR("Body") + ("Kids" * 3)) * 0) + "Bony" + "Gaunt" + "Plastic Surgery";

3) She must have had them 'naturally' because she doesn't have that little c-section paunch...

4) Shoves baby aside despite voracious sucking to admire flat tummy...

5) Catches glimpse of feet and admires pedicure...

6) Bottle becomes unsuctioned and pokes innocent, angel-faced infant in the neck...

7) Whimpering ensues.... Chastises self for being horrible Mother...

8) Mulls how to work "no wire hangers" into conversation with 3 month old...

9) How do you suppose she got those kids through those scrawny hips?

10) Feels sisterly kinship with Posh, united in paunchlessness...

11) Feels sisterly kinship with Posh, united in lack of musical ability...

12) "I'll tell you want I want, what I really really want"

13) Wonder how she met Becks...

14) Probably some brothel club...

15) Probably asked her to dinner...

16) Back when she used to eat...

"Ay there, young miss, 'ow 'bout some fish 'n chips"
"Why, thank you kindly, guv'nah. I'd fancy a spot 'o tea."
"Fine day, 'tis"
"Aye"
"So soccer football, then?
"Aye... Singing, then... pop music?"
"Aye"
"Jolly good. Got any 'air gel?"

17) Wonder if they'll try to have a girl...

18) Wonder if she's been to visit Bluebell Madonna...

19) Wonder where that whistling sound is coming from...

20) Ah, son has finished bottle and has been ingesting large quantities of air...

21) Thank him for absense of paunch with a cuddle and a kiss...

22) Burp, cuddle, change diaper, rinse, lather, repeat, cuddle, kiss, put to bed...

From this weekend...

"Happiness" = ("Nate" + "Mama") + ("Wakefulness" + "Smiles") - "Inane Musings";